Although the majority of birth partners are fathers – around 97% (“How to Be a Good Birth Partner”, Birthchoices.co.uk, 2007) – a birth partner can be anyone who is close to the expectant mother, and who is invited to assist during labour in providing care and support, as well as many other important tasks such as suggestions on breathing, positioning, and relaxation.
The Role of the Birth Partner Before Labour
The responsibilities of a birth partner do not begin and end with the first contraction and cutting of the cord. There is much preparation that needs to be made before the due date and considerations to bear in mind for when the day arrives.
- Agree on a birth plan. The birth partner should discuss and agree on a Birth Plan before the estimated due date, in which they will decide on how they wish the baby to be delivered, and what pain relief – if necessary – they are comfortable with.
- Pack a labour bag. Whether a home birth or a hospital birth, it would be prudent to have a bag packed before the big day, containing toiletries, food, drinks, and a change of clothing. It may be necessary for a bag to be packed for the birth partner as well, if a long labour is anticipated. Swimwear may also be necessary for the birth partner if a water birth is required.
- Make a phone list. The expectant parents may wish to let certain close friends and family know once the mother goes into labour. If this is the case, they should make a list, as well as cataloguing the people to be told directly once the child is born.
- Keep a full fuel tank. Even if a home birth is planned, there may be complications which result in a hospital visit. The birth partner should ensure that they have a full tank of fuel in their car at all times in the weeks leading up to the due date.
- Stock up on food. Food high in carbohydrates will provide much-needed energy when the big day arrives. Similarly, if a home birth is required, the birth partner must ensure that the fridge is stocked up with fruit juices, for additional energy.
The Role of the Birth Partner During Labour
Birth can be a traumatic time for both parents, but it is now that the mother needs the birth partner more than ever. The birth partner's main functions on the day of labour are support, comfort and refreshment.
- Stand up for the mother. As part of the Birth Plan, the parents will know what the mother will or will not want during labour. Whilst in the throes of childbirth the mother may not be able to convey this, and so it is the role of the birth partner to communicate these wishes to midwives and doctors.
- encouragement. Throughout labour, the birth partner should provide motivation and support as the mother copes with contractions that are becoming increasingly painful. There may come a point where the mother feels she cannot continue; it is the role of the birth partner to provide encouragement to provide her with the belief to continue.
- Make eye contact. This will promote the feeling of trust and care between parents, as well as providing the mother an opportunity to gather her thoughts and refocus.
- Speak calmly. Whenever talking to the mother, the tone of the birth partner should be calm, gentle and comforting. Constant questions should be avoided, as should a raised voice; this will only result in upset.
- Provide refreshments. Whether it be a cool flannel or a glass of water, the birth partner should always be on hand to provide whatever the mother desires to make her more comfortable.
- Offer suggestions. If the mother is uncomfortable, the birth partner can suggest alternative labour positions in an attempt to ease any pain.
The Post-Natal Role of a Birth Partner
A birth partner must continue his or her assistance even after the baby is born. Many doulas will frequently visit to check on mother and baby; if the birth partner is the father, there are more considerations to observe.
- Act as a gatekeeper. Especially where a home birth is concerned, the birth partner may need to police the amount of visitors wishing to see mother and child, even turning some away if necessary. It may be wise for the new parents to set aside just one or two days a week where others can visit. This will allow time for mother, father and baby to adjust and bond.
- Provide food. Time in which to cook a full meal will be limited, and so the birth partner should stock up on quick meals to allow proper nourishment.
- Household chores. Similarly, the birth partner should be on hand to carry out household chores whenever required.
- a listening ear. Every birth is different, and it is encouraged that both parents recount their experiences of labour, good and bad, to share emotions and feelings.
- Help where possible. It may seem obvious, but with the mother undoubtedly being exhausted, the birth partner should assist in feeding, changing and care of the newborn child whenever possible to allow time for rest and recuperation.
Childbirth is a wonderful experience for both parents, and the assistance of a birth partner who knows what is required of them and is well prepared will make labour less stressful and a better experience for all involved, including the newborn child. The role of a birth partner does not cease after labour, but instead extends to post-natal care as well; promoting wellbeing, happiness and togetherness within the new family.
Ben Wakeling - Lives in England with his wife and two children. Loves writing, photography, and slouching. Ben is currently posting extracts on a blog ...
