The nine months of pregnancy has traditionally always been about the mother. Strangers feel her belly and ask how she is feeling; books in their hundreds offer her advice and guidance to make her term less stressful. However, there are unfortunately very few books aimed at the expectant father, and as a result many men can find themselves confused, frustrated and even distanced from their unborn child.
Below are ten tips and words of advice on how the father can become more involved during pregnancy.
New Dads Should be Supportive of Their Wives
Her body is going through countless changes, both physical and emotional, and she will often need the help and support of the new father as she perhaps struggles with tasks she could once do with ease. A first-time dad should endeavour to assist his partner in whatever way he can, from making her a cup of tea to simply being a shoulder to cry on.
Do Research on Pregnancy
It is strongly advised that the new dad should read as many books and articles as he can on pregnancy and labour, so he knows what to expect. Preparation is the key to ensuring that when issues and problems arise, and when the big day finally arrives, the father – who is key to comforting the mother – does not descend into a blind panic. Make sure that a regulation car seat is purchased well before the due date, as it is against the law to transport a baby in a vehicle without one.
Budget for the New Family Accordingly
A newborn child places a large strain on family finances. Purchasing a cot and a pram can be expensive enough, but much more is spent in the long term in buying items such as clothes and nappies. The expectant father should make sure that he is in control of of the finances, as well as ensuring that he and the new mother are claiming any benefits to which they are entitled.
Take Some Time for Yourself
Pregnancy can be an emotional time for the new dad as well. There is nothing wrong with the expectant father taking a few hours every now and then for himself, to keep a clear mind.
Enjoy the Experience of Being New Parents
For new parents especially, both the new dad and mum are embarking on an exciting journey into the unknown. Expectant parents should share their feelings with each other, and experience the highs and lows together, to strengthen their relationship with each other as well as with their baby.
Get Involved
Even though it is the mother who will go through pregnancy, she does not have to do so alone. New fathers should attend any prenatal classes that they may decide to join, and try to take time away from work to accompany their partner to midwife and doctor appointments. A good way for the father to become more involved is to shop together with his partner for furnishings and equipment, and spend a week decorating the nursery to welcome the new arrival.
Prepare for Baby's Arrival
It is highly advised that the new father and mother sit together a few months before the due date and decide on a birthing plan that both are comfortable with. The new father should do a couple of "dummy runs" to the local hospital in case the onset of labour is very sudden, or if there is an emergency.
Bond with Your Partner
When the child is born and a couple become a family, the relationship between first time father and mother may change. Less time will be spent with each other, and more time as a family. It is a wonderful idea for the new dad to take the opportunity to show his partner how much he loves her before the baby is born, and prove that he is committed and is always there for her. A new father should be on hand to treat the mother of his child every now and then to buoy her spirits if she is becoming overwhelmed with the prospect of motherhood, as well as being available to provide comfort and support around the clock.
Know Your Rights at Work
It is certain that the mother will cherish the two weeks paternity leave that all new dads are entitled to (in the UK). The expectant father should inform his employer that he intends to take this leave, and tell the employer well in advance to avoid any potential problems.
Be Positive, and Laugh
A sense of humour is vital both during and after pregnancy. Both new parents are going through massive changes; and so must ensure that they make each other laugh as much as possible; any so-called problems or stresses will suddenly be easy to overcome.
Pregnancy is a daunting time for both parents, but is also a highly exciting one. Small pieces of tips and advice such as those listed above are vital to ensure that the nine months and those thereafter go smoothly for both new dad and mum. This experience is one to cherish and enjoy; the expectant father has no need to feel distanced, but can instead become deeply involved, realising that he is an integral part of the pregnancy, in giving vital assistance and support to his partner whilst bonding with both her and his child.
Ben Wakeling - Lives in England with his wife and two children. Loves writing, photography, and slouching. Ben is currently posting extracts on a blog ...
